So Then, What is Love Really?So then, what is love really? This is the third sermon trying to get a grip of what love really is and it is not easy because how different people describe this love thing seems to largely depend, not upon 'book knowledge, but upon their own experience of this 'greater' love. To some extent this sermon is a summation of the last two, plus what I think, based on my experience. In the first sermon on this 'love thing' I spent a good deal of time talking about what love wasn't. I still hold true to the assertions that I made then that love, in the way I am using that word today, is nothing to do with the chemical, physical, societal or emotional love. From the last sermon on this subject I will just underline again what happens to a person who starts to live more 'in the love'. This love causes them to change. They no longer react to places, events or people in the same way. Love changes people, thankfully not for the worse. In more than a few past sermons I have mentioned that Jesus called this state I believe, as being in the Kingdom of the Father as in the Gospel of Thomas saying 113:-
It seems to me that the important question to be asked is "What is this love that I am talking about?" Despite all that is being written and talked about love, and there is a great deal in the books at the moment, the real answer is that we just don't really know. Many people have tried and many have come up with glib snappy responses to this question. This approach certainly helps to sell books. Of course I have my own view which seems to be, I'm afraid, at some odds to the majority of authors, certainly in the western world. So what do we know? There is some fairly conclusive evidence that people begin to talk more about 'love' when they become more spiritual. It is known what it feels like, at least in certain situations. A common description of such body responses is that of being wrapped in a warm, comforting, loving, healing and supporting 'blanket like' field around their body. Peace is a common word used …. 'entering a place of peace.' This is found in many disciplines and it certainly happens in practitioners of reiki, meditation, Tai chi, silent prayer etc. and that is the rub, such people have to be involved in their activity, of which there are many in the world, on a continuing basis. 'Occasional' just doesn't work. All those I know who have become more spiritual went their own individual way, as seemed best for them. Why is that? Perhaps one possible reason is that because the word 'love' is used there is an expectation that their 'progress' will happen. Expectation can be a profound tool. Becoming loving, or being 'in the love', means that, in general, such people tend to increasingly become compassionate. They tend to listen and reflect more. When presented with challenging situations, they are likely to respond in a non judgemental way, even in quite horrendous situations, because blame has been left behind. They see all situations as having a positive outcome, often because the 'situation' seems to be a way to learn something important. More importantly the use of negative language is vastly reduced or eliminated. Such people generally, are quiet and good to be close to but those who are not like them are often kept at a distance. Though this last reaction may be an unconscious reaction in some, the effect is to reduce the amount of negativity experienced. Negativity needs to be avoided like the plague or at least effectively dealt with. It is interesting that Dr. William Tiller of Stamford University, California, suggests that all minor negative thoughts or actions cause a physical lowering of body 'efficiency' for the individual concerned, which lasts six hours. On the other hand a positive thought or action only has a positive spinoff for three hours. These findings reinforce the idea that it is really important for negative thoughts to be dealt with as they have a powerful cumulative effect. These more spiritual people can be looked on as being 'special' by others in a family, group or population. However, this is not how they see themselves. They themselves, like everyone else seem to be 'dumped on' from time to time, for like everyone else in the world they seem to have to learn things for themselves. Unfortunately, it seems that when a new realisation occurs it is then often followed by a test in order to cement the 'new' learning into who 'they really are'. There is much more that could be said about such people. Cherish them from afar if you need to. Encourage them even, But really it is a good idea to let them get on with what they need to do. Demanding of their presence, time or anything else, is not usually going to give you the outcome that you desire. There is other evidence that suggests what effect love has on people and to some extent, what this allows those in the 'love' to do. So let us look at this more closely. There are many authors who, in recent years, have written about this, among them is Gill Edwards, who I have quoted today in the first reading and have used more than a few times in some of my past services. Why have I repeatedly chosen her above most others? It is because, for me, she has written the most lucid and well thought out books on the subject. I don't comply, however, with all she says though. For me it is quite simple, isn't it always? and I will return to this thought later. Gill Edwards, who once spoke at this church, has written lucidly, in small steps, of what can be done or perhaps ought to be done. For many this is what they need, small easily understood steps that could help them to become more spiritual. Now I do not really want to promote another person's own business interest because it seems, at least on the surface to be ego focussed. Perhaps this is why I have never attempted to write a book. Perhaps, for me, the authoring process is of little value. Perhaps other things are more important to me and we certainly don't want yet another book saying the same things in the same or a similar way. However, if you feel that following an author's book may be of use, it just may be worth following up. However, please don't accept what such books say as 'gospel', use your own judgements or better, your own feelings about it. So what are these people all saying? They suggest quite strongly that our reality is designed to include certain 'extra' laws that if you do things in certain ways you can achieve a very comfortable life style. Such authors say that it is quite possible to bring the perfect woman or man into your life as your life partner. Also, they say that you can ask for parking spots, personal spiritual development, in fact anything that you desire! They all say that this is perfectly true. I, personally, have some concerns or qualifications about whether this is true or that it will always work. So let me share with you my conclusions based upon my own experience and insight, if I have it that is. I am sure that the above does happen to a certain extent because it seems to. So what is causing the perceived failure of what the authors say? One reason is that many people who try such things out may not have even begun to move into 'the love'. It just doesn't work if you haven't addressed your own limiting action, language or practice. Or, perhaps, it works only in a limited way. To move forward spiritually we have to change, or perhaps better, to evolve. We have to understand ourselves better, accepting who we have been and then letting it go. When you are locked into the world of things, where power over others is not only condoned but encouraged, we cannot change. This is another example of physician heal thyself. Only when you move more fully into the 'kingdom of god' or 'the love', will the self centred, ego controlled person begin to access the ability, even if only in a small way, as described by many authors. We have to understand ourselves better, accept who we have been and then let it go. But perhaps, because we have changed we won't see these things in the same way. So what else is it that seems to be missed out of the books that I have commented on? Well from my perspective all we have to do is to ask! It is as simple as that. Out of personal preference I would frame my asking as an intent form rather than as a prayer but either would be fine. There is, of course, a 'but' here, however. I would ask in the certain knowledge that what was asked for would in fact happen. Yes, you are right, there is yet another 'but' here as well. I would ask in the 'felt' knowledge that what is asked for is appropriate for this moment in time. Any hint of selfishness and greed etc. would stop this process from working. Yet another 'but'? Yes another 'but' is here too and the 'but' list goes on and on and on. To really achieve whatever you are asking for, it has to reflect your state of spirituality. When you have made such progress you will know that what you might ask for will be what you need at that moment in time, assuming that you really 'know' that this is true. Of course, when it comes down to it, you don't really need to ask at all because everything you need, if you are truly 'aware' will come to you. All other approaches are flawed. That doesn't mean that you can't try, however, because any failure in this will teach you something. Perhaps this is what it is all about. This stuff is just a toy to play with. When you don't need the toy you will put it away and move onto more important things but in the mean time you will have moved little by little towards god in your journey to become god. You will have found your way home. It is important to mention at this point what the qualities of love in its purest sense always are. Love is totally unconditional. It is, therefore, forgiving, expects no reward, is totally non-judgemental and is this for everyone including those who commit crimes against humanity! To become aware of this state i.e. 'the kingdom of heaven' we need to work towards living these qualities ourselves. Give out what we wish to receive. Jesus said, 'Give and it shall be given unto you.' Amen Joe Potter 29/03/2009 |